All this time since my last post and I still don't have a good handle/firm grasp on this blogging thing. Oh, I've learned quite a lot on how to do it, why it's important to do it for me as a writer, and much more. But mostly, I haven't been able to justify spending a lot of time actually working on it. Instead I've spent a lot of time chasing leads for paying gigs and juggling financial chainsaws to stay afloat. Neither of those projects have been working out very well. While I've made a few dollars here and there from one-shot writing gigs and "odd jobs", and have deftly juggled debts and finances for the past few months, I'm still drowning. I've never been closer to the end of my rope than now. Meanwhile.....
It's difficult for me to separate what I'm willing to disclose publicly via this (or any) blog from what I write for public consumption. There's a fine line between the two. There is still a very pressing need to keep some things private, mostly so as not to offend anyone. But there is also a passion to write and share knowledge/info/experiences with others.
Generally, my life isn't getting any better. In fact, it has gotten measurably worse. I've lost 30 pounds in the past 4 years since I moved from Chicago to Las Vegas in 9/2001. Losing 30 pounds might sound like a good thing for some. For me, it means I'm down to 74 pounds. That's not a healthy weight for ANY grown woman. I look like a walking skeleton. I only have enough money to last another month or so. I'm receiving welfare/food stamps and Medicaid, but no other assistance because I don't have kids/dependents. I've been living with my mother and she gets SSA but it's not enough for both of us to live on. So as my life circles the toilet bowl .....
I'm hoping for a miracle. But I haven't heard of one happening for many decades. I don't know what I can do to save myself anymore. I struggle every day to answer "What's the point?"
Yeah, it's one of THOSE days.....
